Friday, November 14, 2008

Lil' Hero's Decision: Respect vs Force

As usual, I went to pick my lil' heroes from their daycare centre at 6pm yesterday. Since their principal was still around, I decided to go in and have a chat with her about the progress of my lil' heroes.

I took the opportunity to tell her that You Jin had decided to withdraw himself from the poem recital slot for this upcoming concert-cum-graduation day. She accepted the decision and she agreed with me that we should respect the You Jin's decision. Yup, he might just be a 6-year-old kid, but as adults, we need to understand him and respect his decision.

I smiled to myself when I read Johnny's comment in my last post:
"don't need to pressure him at this age. he doesn't need such pressure in life. parents have to be careful as performing in front of u in the home is totally a different environment when standing on stage. i'm a play director, so i know. if he can do it then let him do it. alternatively, get him to stand up in the public, say a playground. get him standing up on a chair as if it was a stage. let him read it loud and clear. if u feel malu that he's doing it so loudly, then u are the having a problem, not him. just encourage him and not a single sign of force be used. don't force yr dream on him."

Johnny, I totally agree with you. For your information, I have never force my lil' heroes to READ, WRITE, COLOUR and all those other related stuff. I believe that whatever things that they have practised in school is sufficient for now. After all, they are still little kids. One thing that I am amazed about my lil' heroes is that they have developed the love for books and colours on their own. I guess their teachers in school have done a fantastic job in inculcating those good habits. All that I have done was only to get my lil' heroes all sorts of books, and colouring materials and some encouragement. Force? Never :)

Since I am in the education field, I am familiar with the negative effects of forcing a task upon someone, especially little children. Just like adults, children are more receptive when they enjoy doing a task. So, since You Jin did not find any joy in poem reciting, we both agreed that he should back out.

I am definitely not like some other kiasu parents out there. Let children enjoy their childhood, and like what Johnny mentioned: never force our dream upon them.

I always believe that a child is the conductor of his own life. As parents, we are just among the musicians in his orchestra :)

p/s: Looking forward for their concert-cum-graduation day this Sunday. There will definitely be a post on that ;)


Ahmike said...

wow, nice topic =D sometimes I do take some time to think of how my parents treat me.. well, my parent are busy most of the time, they are running business.. so their times for us are not much actually, But i am totally amazed how they brought me up to this stage.. i still remembet my dad has his own plan, it was he won't cane us anymore after we enter to form 6, this is very equal to sibling as well =) i am having my stpm next two days, yet i still on9, they believe i will take care of myself.. of course sometimes they will spend some time to advise me if possible.. i really didnt feel stressful being with them, but i really wanna do my best.. i can see my parent are aging.. it's m responsiblity now to take care of them.. I salute mommy Ai Ling too =)

lol, sorry for this long sharing.. wah so long no visit you=) how r u? hmm.. wei mommy ai ling you havent answer my question which I asked you months ago haha.. i shall remind you.. should i go for economics then take education then become a teacher OR straight forward to take education in local U? i have been thinking this for a long time haha.. need some opinions..

Well, hopefully after my stpm, i wanna be a teacher in kindergarten lol.. pray hard =)

joshua said...

oh yes...tough decisions for parents huh to not force, impose, push our dreams on them...i haven't gone through that stage of parenthood...

jennykoo said...

I totally agree with you. If he totally didn't want to do it, to force him to do it would be terrible. He sounds like such a sweet boy, and he must have spoken really well, if he was chosen for the task. You've obviously done such a great job. :)

Ai-Ling said...

dear joshua,

yup, parenting isn't an easy task and it's gonna be a lifelong task :)

Ai-Ling said...

dear jenny,

looking forward for updates on hayden :)

Ai-Ling said...

dear ahmike,

i can't answer ur question. the reason is because u need to know wht's ur main interest and once u put ur two feet in it, it's gonna difficult to back out and start afresh. all i can say is that there is an advantage being in the education field: this field WILL NOT die. then again, do u really wanna be in this field? u'll be labelled as a teacher (even though u might not b working in a school) for the rest of ur life and u'll need to face the ever-challenging needs from students. it's a tough job tht might cause ur sanity, ahmike (lol...juz kidding).

at the end of the day, u need to touch ur heart and ask urself what do u really need to do. no one can decide for u. like what i wrote in my blog: ppl around u r just the musicians in ur ochestra. u r the conductor.

gd luck, ahmike ;)

Ahmike said...

Thanks wei =D I will really take some time to consider it =D Joshua is here too.. he is my church member

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